Hi ya’ll! How’s it going today? For, me, I’m feeling pretty damn good! You wanna know why?
Because I’ve Learned Where My Priorities Lie.
My Story: To See My Failures as Learning Opportunities
You see after three relationships (marriage, then a widow, then a boyfriend), one gets to know themselves quite well, I once was fountain of love for all of them.
But, then I saw myself as a person, as a woman, who didn’t love herself enough to respect her own boundary lines. After twenty years of catering to my 1st husbands whims, while he went out drinking with friends and coming home to throw abusive hurtful words and take from me something that was always mine.
You know, sex is something that should be shared between two people who genuinely care for each other, not forced under the influence of intimidation or force.
It’s when this happens that you realize you hold no value in this persons life, and it’s time to move on. Granted, it wasn’t easy. It was the biggest challenge I had ever faced. To walk away from twenty years of being with someone and to live alone again.
“She alone, knows of loneliness. And it’s when she is the most happiest. Her comfort comes from within.” ― Linda J Wolff
That was the first time I had grabbed a part of myself and took it back. But, I wasn’t whole yet. The second time I fell prey again to another relationship of ten and a half years. And it wasn’t any prettier. The same old patterns. Why is it has humans being we are slow to learn a lesson?
And then a third time of four and a half years with a fella who didn’t want a committed relationship. It was time. Time to prioritize me. Do you notice the time-frames are getting (shorter)?
The 11 Steps I Took to Accepting Myself, My Life, and My Reality.
Coping with your reality is accepting where you had gone wrong. And starting over alone takes strength, the kind of strength one must find in small baby steps. I felt like a toddler learning how to walk all over again. I started with acceptance of who I was at that moment.
- Acceptance can be a challenging feat. But, I started with each day and set no expectations. I looked in the mirror and said to myself; I will love you for every part of your existence, “the good, bad, or indifferent.” And I will change my mindset into one of positivity and success. Accept my aloneness and find refuge in it.
I want you to say this to yourself.
I will love myself for every part of my existence.
2. Acknowledge your reality right now. Right now I acknowledge my reality, and I accept all the mistakes I have made, the good choices as well, and the patterns I must change to create a better future for myself.
I want you to say this to yourself.
From this day forward I acknowledge to choose my dreams wisely and create choices that compliment my life.
3. Practice being honest with yourself. I had a lot to look at for the past 30 years of my life. For the patterns I kept following which were so wrong for me. When I saw those patterns were the very same things causing me to fail. Then transparency came to my mindset. Each day I practice at being truthful with myself.
Say this to yourself.
I am aware of the patterns that make me fall and I will rise and learn from them.
4. Identify your parts that you can improve upon. I, every day ask myself questions in the ways that I recognize in my current situation and find resolve in the answers to help with creating a more positive mindset for success.
Say this to yourself.
I will take knowledge in knowing what I need to change, and I will implement the steps necessary towards my life goals.
5. I admit my faults with no blame to others. I can’t change my outcome if I am unwilling to accept my mistakes. I will view my mistakes not as failures but as an opportunity to enrich my life more.
Say this to yourself.
I am in control of my own reality and I am capable of changing it.
6. When you can work towards owning every facet of your reality. You will realize the patterns in need of changing to grow your strengths and successes.
Say this to yourself.
I will teach myself to make better choices the next time around, in the next moment or opportunity.
7. Don’t let fear override your outcome of greatness. I am willing to do things in the unusual ways that best suit the outcome of my future and to reflect on the situation at the moment it is occurring. My outcome doesn’t reflect what others think of me.
Say this to yourself.
I will not allow what others think of me to override my outcome to happiness.
8. Realize your strengths. I am imperfectly perfect. The mirror reflection doesn’t dictate who you are as a human being inside, face your realities, create a list of your strengths, your accomplishments, and the values that are important to you.
Say this to yourself.
I will accept that I am good, I have value and worth. I have a purpose in life. And I will grow upon my strengths.
9. Don’t set unrealistic expectations. If your expectations are too high, you’ll be met with disappointment. Take small steps towards greatness. Work on creating a environment that is positive and fulfilling.
Say this to yourself.
I will learn to understand things from a perspective of living in the moment of free will.
10. Accept that every day can bring challenges. I will face each day with an open mind, and that everyday can change from moment to moment or day to day. And I will be open in mindset to accept that something challenging can have an outcome of greatness.
Say this to yourself.
I am open to the struggle and that it will always be my reality.
11. Create a realistic plan for reaching your goal. If I can see the necessary steps I must take to reach my goal, then accomplishing it one step at a time makes it easier and more realistic to accomplish my dreams, and my success in life.
Say this to yourself.
I will follow my goal that I have broke down into small realistic steps.
Part of prioritizing myself is creating the environment of self-love, and growing in self-confidence. When I accepted that I needed a new mindset, it meant I put every part of my mind, body, and soul into prioritizing my life.
I must have the peace of mind in knowing I am in acceptance of all that I am.
See, I realized I was happy for the first time without another person creating my happiness. And in this happiness I found a new confidence in wanting to feel good in my body as well. This is where I found even more profound energy and strength.
Fitness for the Body. I was one who worked from home, as a writer, I would sit all day and the only thing that was moving was my brain, while the rest of me remained idle. I started noticing health issues arising, more and more as time passed. It was time to awaken the body as well as the mind. Daily walks with my dog started becoming something I looked forward to, and my body thanks me for it.
Health for the Internal Body. Having a mindfulness of self is valuable, but, internally feeding the body what it craves is essential. In acceptance of change I am willing to create more conscience choices of food, and supplements to compliment the balance of the mind, body, and soul.
Beauty Natuarlly is Organic. It’s amazing when we sync the mind, body, and soul. And we are in acceptance of a life long goal of living healthy through the mindfulness of thoughts, dreams, hopes, and knowing that each day is full of aspiration, this is when you have achieved “You the Priority. (Fitness, Health, and Beauty Naturally)“
Stay tuned! Cause I am going to reveal some of my Venus Potion on a personal relationship of self-love.
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Your Dating Guru…Venus Sidus
What's Up, Venus! | Online Dating Coach 